Producers R. Nasibulin, V. Izvekov Production Manager M. Dovladbegyan
Based on "Hard to Be a God", a novel by Arkady and Boris Strugatsky
This is not Earth. It's another planet, about 800 years behind.
There were a few similar planets This one was smaller and closer
Besides, local grey castles were reminiscent of early Renaissance.
So about 30 scientists were sent here
But Renaissance didn't happen here
It was just a reaction to something, that almost didn't happen.
In the capital of Arkanar, it started with destruction of the university.
As the university was a way of thinking, it was a hunt for the way of thinking.
A hunt for wise guys, bookworms and talented artisans.
Some fled to the neighboring Irukan.
It was better there. Others, broke down or were executed.
Executed by flying squads of Don Reba, the Crown Security Minister
Squads were made of rioters, shopkeepers.
Everyone are in grey: grey regiment, grey troops.
Even minister wore grey.
To match the color of local structural stone, rather worthless one.
The royal guard was pushed aside.
Nothing is hit, or even pinched.
Screenplay by S. Karmalita, A. German
Poverty, poverty.
Director A. German
- She rummaged... rummaged... - Stop, stop
- She rummaged.
- Bu-bu-bu
The stones were white and flat.
Cinematography by V.llyin, Yu. Klimenko
Production design by S. Kokovkin, G. Kropachev, E. Zhukova
I am scared of the stars, is it a sin?
Rains here were short and sticky.
The fogs were long.
They came from the gulf and returned there.
Hard to be a God
He often cried while he slept. He was killing someone.
In his sleep of course. He wasn't allowed to kill. Ever.
Then he heard his grandma's voice. From his childhood on Earth.
Infant is crying. She inhaled. She smoked a cigarette.
"Children's tears are water... It's all in your head, boy..."
The noble Don Rumata Leonid Yarmolnik
She blew on his forehead, but it was a stink from a crack, that he ordered to cover with a trunk.
He was trying to stick to the blanket, but woke up anyway.
A chimney smoked downstairs in his huge castle.
Slaves spoke loudly, though it was forbidden.
And he was not on Earth, but on a different planet.
Here he was a 17th generation noble don.
An illegitimate son of Goran, a local pagan god.
Born from the god's own mouth.
Some believed in it, some didn't. But everyone bewared.
Did you feed the turtle, idiot?
Today. Mice lick off the lard.
They do.
Are you wearing my boots again?
I didn't mean to.
You always "don't mean to".
Costumes E. Shapkaitz Makeup by O. Izvekova, N.Ratkevich
Boots at the table.
Music by V.Febedev Sound by N.Astakhov
I'll hang myself.
What?
I'll hang myself!
- Again - What?
Why are you so loud when I'm sleeping? I'd sell you all at the port.
You, too. It's a pity slaves have fallen in price.
That's how it is.
Die, die you idiot!
You die!
It's autumn, there are no mice.
Special thanks to A. German-Jr.
My whole life.
A goose drowned here.
I broke a tooth.
- A picture. - Go, go, go
It's a bit shallow. Let's do head first.
He bites like a ferret.
So... so...
I found this under the pig. Letters are so smooth.
So what are we... aha
- Great - Me?
Let's go.
Wait, wait!
What, stinker? Do you remember, 40 years ago...
Oh, that is how
You called my book the poop of the Siou bird.
I don't remember. I don't remember!
Hey, what are you doing?
40 years have passed. My whole life.
You made it in time. In time.
Didn't you go for a walk?
Let go, asshole. This is our spyglass.
Master, they drowned a wise guy in the shithouse.
But this skunk...
His feet did this, then that. And then - plop!
I was nearby. Funny. A leg stuck out.
Give a spyglass back to Don.
You polecat. Money needs good care.
You will give it back, joker. Otherwise, to the port and be sold.
Don
Scum. Thief.
Every autumn the same thing. What can I say?
Take this.
*inaudible speech
- Over and over again - Noble Don, give a coin. A ring.
Haha, it's mine, it's mine.
The wind changed, now smelling of rot.
The city was surrounded by fetid, bottomless swamps of Pitania.
Nevertheless, at night, lit by a piece of kindling.
People like that murdered bookworm, crawled to the border of nearby Irukan.
Where they were met by rebelling peasants of one-eyed Arata the Hunchbacked
or by fugitive slaves from tin mines, transparent like moth.
Or by Colonel Kusis's grey soldiers. You pay or you die.
All because they used stone or paint to create a second nature,
To decorate life of people who know nothing of beauty.
For creating glass, that helped half-blinded to see and sighted to approach the sky.
In such rocky hideouts, Don Rumata hid his secretly rescued wise guys.
What is all this?
We are learning to fly, recently more often downward.
Noble Don, take me from here.
Such happiness! And here is our angel.
Dr. Budah had to be brought here from Irukan.
A sober and logical mind created by this civilization.
Also a good company for Don Rumata during these long Arkanar's days.
But Dr. Budah dissappeared along with the convoy.
Here's Pekh, a beast with iron tail...
You're lying, there's no such beast
I'm falling.
Turnips, turnips
Exhale!
- Ah, what? - He is all lying
You even got the birds drunk!
I will kill you
Hit! Hit it! Destroy it!
Don't you even dare to brew that slop again.
Why is it so depressing?
Because it's fall.
Fall again...
So white. Unbearable!
Can you believe it?
That idiot synthesized alcohol.
Hooray! Hooray!
You toad! The first on this planet!
Leonardo! Da Vinci.
Earthlings gathered here.
Not so often lately. They drank more and more and got irritated at each other.
I love you, but you don't love me.
Noble Dons, get the hell out of the way! All you presidents, kings...
What a hell are you standing here?
I adopted a boy you know. He's alone, I'm alone...
The boy is a thief.
He's an orphan, bastard.
I saw Earth again in my sleep.
- Ah, dreams. - Marvellous ones! Good to see you.
Your Budah has disappeared. And the officer, too. Now they both are dead.
I'll get Budah, easily. Give me this.
The boy volunteered to snitch.
Tell him to bug off and to shut up.
Hey you old fart! Give me a kiss!
You've got ants in your mouth. Here, eat that!
- I said it's a trap. - How many times did I tell you?
Pashka got caught in a trap!
Everyone knows that...
A boar trap. Comes off together with a foot.
- Give me a knife. I'll cut it off. - It hurts you jerk!
You want some poison? Great reviews!
Listen to me. 20 years ago...
Some fucker saw the outbreak of art here.
He called it Renaissance.
On this shitty planet.
I laughed and you wrote that I'm dumb. Okay, okay - maybe.
But where is art? Where is Renaissance? Not here.
The whole life, eh?
Okay, I was wrong. My bad. Forgive me. We good?
Listen everybody.
I came here without guards.
I was attacked by a naked runaway slave from mines.
He choked me, see.
That's just a pimple.
I have to go back alone. An arrow in the eye - I am dead.
And you don't want to forgive me before my death!
Come on, let's kiss!
This scumbag has a whole crew of guards. What a liar!
I'm not a liar. I'm Münchhausen.
What would you do without me?
Strange fools on a strange planet?
Where is the sack? Made of leather
- That is how bird Siou screams - The one no one has seen?
Your fucking Renaissance is the most treacherous era in the Earth history!
Zurab, this one is better
It's dark and quiet. Not to me, to someone else. Well?
Not to me, to someone else. A wet umbrella rustled in.
Do you want this?
How is that? You lost your fucking minds?
*drunken singing
You are a creep.
Bird of Siou, that was never seen, steal silver.
- And servants get punished. Is that fair? - That bird doesn't exist, you fool!
Muga stood over the barrel and saw it's shadow.
Oh, really?
Nobody saw it but Muga.
Wonderful, only there's no happiness yet.
Hey, slave! Like this or like that?
The rope noise scares the birds...
and they fly to the swamp, Don.
But if you cover their head with fish scale birds eat their eyes out.
One tobacco merchant a very smart man, he...
Slave, like this or like that?
Rain.
Master, I'm not going any further...
it's too hard.
You'll keep walking, or I'll whip you.
Master, you won't do that, you're kind because you're a god.
I sure will whip you, you never dreamed of.
When I die, don't throw me into the gulf. Burry me in the ground.
At least in a barn.
Marksman is drunk.
Hey, wait, this Arata the Hunchback Is just a blob of swamp fog.
I was always sure.
At the moment they took the relics of your godlike father out...
he and all his drunk peasants dissolved in the air.
- So why am I a bad poet? - An awful one!
"Falls on my soul like an autumn leaf."
"Prince and Barbarian girl." I have the book.
I burned it.
How stupid of you.
Give me to smoke.
Marksman is drunk, dismiss him.
We're the young aristocracy. The country's reverse breath.
It was right to drown Bota in the shithouse for such poetry. Not me!
You think his poetry is bad?
- Did the prince cry today? No? - Hard one
Such balls!
Don Rumata cuts through double Soanian armor. This one survived!
Budah didn't go through my chancellery. The Colonel Kusis left the army.
He and Don Reba are in the Lilac chambers.
Speaking that lousy language. Incredible!
Show him the relics of my godlike father. Maybe he'll disappear.
No one disappears, Arata or anyone. I thought you're interested.
- I am. - Captain of crown guard.
His hands are in blood, he is in blood.
So it was and so it will.
That is krapul our expomple.
Noble Don
I have a foul smell
- Will I die? - You will, you will
Charming.
Fear of death is a heresy, captain.
- Take this - Great Buta also had a foul smell
- He drank till started shitting in his pants, and barbarian girls too. - So what?
What is this? What kind of god you are?
(poem by B.Pasternak) The murmurs ebb; onto the stage I enter I am
trying, standing in the dark to discover the distant echoes...
You're a redhead! He's a redhead!
The murmurs ebb; onto the stage I enter I am trying,
standing in the dark to discover the distant echoes...
The coming years may hold in store. Natural darkness with a thousand...
Who wrote that?
I did!
Nocturnal darkness is an evening. But I can teach you. For money.
Crown security minister, Don Reba!
- Excuse me - Go, go
Don Reba, our eagle. Crown security.
He delivered ice for my Dad. Barefoot.
- Wow - So, Rumata, whose son you are?
Let me have a sip.
Ask your dad not to turn my wine sour.
Ah, it's you
You majesty.
- Did it get smaller? - It didn't.
A nice head.
Who are you? A butcher?
I'm a colonel, a financier.
You stuffed the castle with grey thugs.
Where is Arata the Hunchback? So he is just a mirage?
So great and glorious like eternity the king whose name...
- Everyone! Kick in the nose - Redhead
- Now I'll hang myself. - No way.
Oh my, what a smell.
Don Reba. You should stop by for a bath.
I have these comfortable huge iron barrels.
No, you come over! I have great barrels in the Tower of Joy.
- On coals, with lids. Without water. - I love them. Ah, Rumata...
You are a redhead. Reba, you've promised to strangle him.
- You're a liar, not good at anything. - He has royal blood.
That should be checked.
He's good at everything. He killed half of your subjects.
I summoned this doctor, Budah. For my knee pain. What'd he do with him?
You have knee pain, too?
- Take a look - Marshal Tots!
No. It says here: "Eagle, our Knight Don Reba."
They sell it all over Arkanar.
Wow! Knight! So you are a knight?
- Whatever they say. I don't know. - Show me your boot.
The spur. Take it off.
- So where's your doctor? - The knight has him. I hope not in a barrel.
- Bring him here! - No inquest? ok.
He'll answer for "no inquest". You'll have a laugh!
It's night. Bloodsuckers fall from the ceiling.
And she's slippery. Keeps slipping off. No good.
Try a barbarian girl.
No way! She'll bite it off. Like someone told me.
Here's Budah.
You always find something wrong.
And he won't be Budah. I'm not good at anything!
He wasn't Budah. He was a horse keeper.
You're not Budah. And not a doctor!
He has your letter, too. Don Rumata.
Why should I drink? It's usually rubbed in. Why should I drink?
Rumata, you drink.
Go away.
He must be strangled.
Marksman is drunk.
Redhead, you said.
The King got sick last night.
Remember, tonight you're on watch by the Prince's chambers.
The crossbow's broken. How do I go on now?
Play what I taught you.
Donkeys lift up their tales.
A cart of wood and fish.
The dog sprouted. It keeps raining.
Don, buy this for your sword.
Look, you know who that is...
There. Hold it like that.
Have your donkey fuck you.
It's a sin.
Go on, sing!
Stand back, everyone! I'll chop you all up.
Hi
Like a swan!
Yours is there.
The greys live here now! Brave guys.
As a token of peace.
No jokes in the face of holiness.
So fat?
Where're the monks coming from? What's in the bags?
Take a bite. You'll know suffering, Muga.
What are you yelling about?! I'll flog you at home!
This is the third family leaving.
- Let's go already - What? Yes. Hello. Where?
It's all mine! No peeing in the carriage!
They keep peeing in the carriage.
They say there will be a massacre tonight. They'll be killing wise guys.
They left the old man behind.
A tobacconist from Tobacco street. A very smart man.
You, skinny, collect these chicken Or she will steal and eat them.
Hey, Master!
Water. Saint Mika drown in water.
So that tobacconist from Tobacco street. A very smart man, once said...
You want to end up in choleraic pit? Who did I tell about microbes?
You can't wash sins away with water. I prayed three times last night.
I'll drown you in the barrel, you stinker.
A double dinner? Here! It's his fault, he opened.
So the tobacconist from Tobacco street
a very wise man once said...
Did anyone else see it? Everyone saw.
It's his fault. He opened it. Master sell him to toads.
- So... the grey guys are coming. - Cool
Go to wash, everyone!
And no giggling
A turtle.
That's crap. What for?
- How is that? - Somehow like that
It's not my idea
- Sit down - It's raining outside - Or don't sit down
- It's all wet. Rain. - What's wrong?
Sit down.
Take my ear.
Squeeze it hard. Harder!
If it hurts, I won't think about it and will tell you.
Yesterday, my brother came from the barracks and saw my armpits
Started yelling that I have red hair. He lifted my dress.
Showed soldiers what it's like down there
He yelled that my mom is redhead and so am I
He said he will send me to the Tower of Joy. Brother is a commander in grey army.
No, not like that
They didn't do anything. Brother was drunk, he couldn't do it like on that picture.
They brought in wise guys at night and kept beating them.
He carved them up, screamed. Dad and I cried in the back.
Her bag was like this. And now it's this! Go away, you stinker!
I see, but it feels like I can't see.
Why are you wearing my boots?
They will bring you to a port and sell.
Stop!
Bend over!
- Don't beat me! Ah - Why are you screaming?
Stop screaming, you idiot. Here's a coin for you.
Who's beating you? I've never laid a finger on them.
And I will.
I never touched them. Idiot. You hear how is he screaming?
I've never laid a finger but he is screaming.
- He's a cunning fool. - Oh, well..
- Here, take this. Such a stink. - What?
My eye is.. I was crying. Soldiers did this.
Go to hell
- Who put this here? -Okay I'm going. - Why?
Where're you going?
I've stolen enough..
You did?
If you leave. If you leave...
If you leave, then my friend
Don Reba... I'll be all alone.
Not counting you, pretty boy.
Nobody is a match for me here I can break anyone.
Have I ever told you about the fangs?
If only I could give the fangs to you.
Nobody will hurt you then. You'd tear anyone to pieces.
Ouch. You silly woman!
It exists
Hingy
I was afraid you didn't have one, like Saint Goran.
Cool, cool, cool
Shut up
I will have Goran's grandson in my belly. Here are my fangs.
Mom's key!
There you go!
Goran fell. My mom's Goran. You almost did it.
Yeah, keep lying!
Goran fell!
- Goran fell! - What? You think it's funny?
Go play in cow house. What? Where is the door?
Your grace, someone saw a dude with gills. What's that?
Drink beer!
Can you see? I don't see.
- It's vomit in silver cups. - You watch it.
Baron? What's wrong?
I don't drink. I only sniff now.
Baron, are you ill or mad at me?
It's hard time for me! The greys are like bedbugs.
Baron. Baron! What is this?
From toilet of Saint Gai.
I invited neighbors, they got drunk. Come here, my friend.
No, baron. I'm a foreigner. I can't do that.
There's a young one. Come here.
Neighbors came. They crap everywhere, torment dogs.
And keep talking about you cutting through double Soanian armor.
It's all rumors, Baron. Don't believe that nonsense, baron.
Soanians are little. They have very fragile armors. It's all about sharpening the sword. I will teach you!
I'm the Empire's best swordsman! You're better than me.
You never killed anyone! Where do I get a Soanian armor?
They brought me baroness's grandfather's armor. So thick! I tried everything.
Even a two-handed sword.
Then the baroness came in.
For a day, I rode a horse like in a fog.
It's all about sharpening the sword. I'll show you.
It's very easy. Just find the middle, yes?
You swing from your wrist, but I add the shoulder, and body weight.
That's it! Just like...
It's just the swing.
Baroness!
She thinks I'll rot from all the water here.
You won't rot. Uh! Uh!
What is this?
That's a nice size, ah?
The wind blew it away.
That's funny!
- Here are clean table-cloths for puking on. - Go away, bastard
Can you fight with this?
No, it won't work.
It's good thickness, you will do that. Baron, I beg you.
Add the shoulder and the back to your wrist. And that's it.
Noble Dons, this is a very expensive chair. And it's also from grandfather!
Well
Is it pure? No, give me two.
He won't cut through it. No way.
First it seemed like...
Oops.
Get out of here.
Sorry my friend, got a work to do.
The Baroness didn't see this.
You'll crush me, Baron! Tell me what is this?
Pah, the grey thugs. They're all over, like fleas.
Get out of here, you beer gut!
Hey, milk!
The port is closed, meat is rotting on the galleys. I don't know why!
I have a secret to tell you. That doctor, in the king's castle.
He's not Budah. He actually worked in the port at the cholera pit.
Fish likes milk.
- No, noble Don, fish don't like milk. - Fish likes milk.
- I'm telling you, fish don't like milk. - Fish likes milk.
Let's just agree that fish likes milk.
- I'm the captain of crown guard. - Yeah, really?
And what your Baron says that beer barrel...
I have a troop of haberdashers for him!
So, you will be bringing haberdashers until the end of times.
That's it?
Fish likes milk. Fish likes milk. Fish likes milk.
Yes, they do. They like it. Milk.
Go away, boy.
You're God!
And if I am a god...
You got a fish up your ass!
lf I'm a god then why am I on your arrest list?
You're a God because you're a God!
Where is redhair Fika the butcher?
There's a soul, or there's no soul...
I stole a ham, I said, it's for you. Great stuff!
Listen: "An impotent and inept one"... Go away!
An impotent and inept one will give up without knowing where
the monster's heart is if the monster even has one". Is it bad?
No, it's not bad!
Are you better? Go buy me a barrel of wine.
Don't come near me. Or you'll end up in the Tower of Joy.
And you'll die on the way there because you're a coward!
Get out of the city!
Thanks! I'll go stay with my mother.
Get out already.
Baron! Step out of the way!
You've broken the 3rd commandment!
Really? What commandment?
Don't draw a sword in a tavern!
But I have no other sword!
Go home quickly.
It's a shame the Baroness can't see me now! Victory!
Write her. I can't. She's alone there.
Estorian wine for everyone. And the best whores.
I'll have an elderly...
and respectable woman serve me. It's so hard for me!
Write her so she can feel it.
Arata!
A very strict officer!
Very... very strict
Get out of here! Nobody comes here.
Will he beat us?
Hey! He is a very... very strict officer!
- It's cold. - So what?
What's this? Are you a dog, idiot? I am in this...
What's wrong with you?
Just a little, or I'll puke!
The prince nibbles her tits. Creepy.
Let me, eh? And Rumata will purr...
His wife ran away.
Why does my ass bleed? Second day now!
A nobleman should be clean and smell good!
I'm sleeping in the attic.
...and smell good...
Shit! And this is shit.
I swear..
Don Rumata of Estor! You're under arrest! Hand over your swords!
- Yes? - Yes
What?
Don't fart
Hey, your swords!
- Take whatever you want! - Rumata can cut a double Soanian armor!
- It's sharp! - Give up your swords!
So how is it going, villagers? Everyone is here.
I know this one. He stole a fur coat from me!
You give me the fur coat, and I'll give you my swords. Deal?
- Soldiers! Spears!
You can't do that without a hit
There, the chest! Like this!
Now, everyone look at the tip of my nose!
He licked it with his tongue! Hahaha
Hold this
So, what?
Cut, I'm telling you.
The lieutenant got caught in the net!
I'm a lieutenant of the guards! Let me go! I'll stab you all!
I'm a lieutenant of the guards. You put me in a net?!
Where are the swords?
Wait, or this one will get out. He'll start lashing at us.
You toothless jerk, I'll cut your balls off!
Come on, fat-ass, drag me somewhere!
What, Don, not so funny?
Lietenant, you didn't piss oneself for nothing
I'm a lieutenant of the royal guard!
The net's accidental...
Here's Don Rumata. Our old and staunch enemy.
Smells shit
The king's poisoner! Hang him, what else?
You're an idiot, Kusis. And a walking dead man!
What an interesting thought.
That's it, my lords!
Come on, I'm Colonel Kusis!
Now that's really it, my lords!'
The hat of sorrow.
You know what's bad? Not that you're a lieutenant. But that you're grey.
It doesn't hurt. It doesn't.
Don Rumata, what are you doing there?
Give me your hand, Don.
Soldiers
That's it
- Noble Don Rumata... - It stinks.
Noble Don Rumata...
Maybe not a Don? My trophy. Maybe not a Don? And not a noble?
Old man you're out of our mind!
Straight from Irukan.
Who's that?
That's you! Actually, the last Rumata of Estor died of a bad disease.
He was 85, and we've had you for 20 years...
Wow. The grandson is a redhead! He's allowed.
That's mine too. All your documents.
Rumata, you're 105 years old.
105?
He's 105!
Really? 40, and carry 5 over. It doesn't work.
Hey, knight, come here!
What difference does it make - one legend more, one less?
Never! Not in the new state!
Why is there shit on the floor? Bring the cleaners
And that duck...
Don Rumata, the empire's best swordsman. 186 duels and not one dead body.
Only ears. A total of 372 ears.
- Hello - Hello, hello
Actually, ears really hurt! You should believe me!
Here
If you swing the sword from the right the hair gets on the way.
Let me go. Why do you keep doing that. That's horrible.
I don't know where you got your combat techniques from!
You better point your finger up.
Inhuman technique!
You're a fool. Show me your ears.
Got frightened
I'm not scared of anyone. You're scared.
Humble children of the order landed last night at the Arkanar port. 30 000 of them!
Greys, that thought so much of themselves, are all dead.
Arata the Hunchback's men are hung by the roads.
Let me introduce myself. I'm the alderman of the Order.
Grandmaster of the Lands, of the islands, etc. How's that?
Great.
The master's boot.
You can't even imagine...
That you are on the edge of such a fiery abyss.
See.
Come on, that's a boot.
Does it stink? That you should understand. It's such a common thought.
- A man comes to you every night. For 7 years now! - It's a lie!
You even called for a witch doctor. But you can't get rid of him!
You even wrapped your head in animal skin.
But that's heresy!
That man opens his eyes... And looks at you. Right?
Bullshit
So
When that man opens his eyes, he says... Raise my eyelids.
And you scream so loud your old lady pees her pants.
Is that right? Come here.
That man with the eyes...
That's me! Me!
Go away from here
Boots. A spur is bent.
Maybe the abyss belched you out. Maybe you're god's son.
I'm having trouble myself. There's a mouse.
Go away. There's a mouse.
What?
That's great.
I can't take this anymore. My head will explode. I'm lapsing into heresy.
The mouse is wet and scared too.
I'm a broad-minded man. I could.
Then why don't you?
But learn to jump out of my way first.
I said, get out of here. Leave me alone.
Do that
A nice, big enema, Don Reba.
Sorry. This is the highest symbol of the Order. For you. That's all I can.
And take your Budah.
You go, too.
Me too?
Sure.
3kg of shit! Can you explain to me why do you need all these people?
They are useless and bad for anyone.
The bookworms?
See, I'm speaking to you...
but that doesn't mean we're having a conversation.
Why did you serve such rotten food?
- Go away - Your stuff is here, Don
That was the Order. It's humble children.
200 or so years ago the order owned the Lands Beyond the Strait.
Luckily, a plague sucked the order dry.
It was then rotting away in the south. Over the mountains.
But then it got better. It was here now. Ruthless like Brazilian ants.
Rumata thought about sending at least Muga there.
But didn't get around to it!
You have so much stuff.
Hey, take this, and wash your hands.
Naughty you.
Have some milk, Don.
Gur. Weren't you the smartest?
Get away
Vaga
Not Vaga the Wheel anymore
What are you saying?
Fuck you
What a hell?
Great.
Like autumn leaves.
Your autumn leaves clutter the scaffold.
Eat their eyes out or not, who cares?
Ropes rustle. Wind all the time.
A wonderful place! Hey, poet, want me to move you here?
I recognized you right away. Branded by the monks.
I belong to you now.
Don't be mad, Don. Have a potato.
- Haven't you heard how many ears I've cut off? - Yes, we've heard... - It's pretty painful
Kin! Bring that small umbrella here
Ears, ears... It's nothing but funny
- Pretty good ear - Aren't you a grown up?
- I will wipe myself and give it back - Let me go. On the grass.
That's wrong. Don't do that.
Close it.
He's been on the chain since he was 3.
Why? Why?
You let him go, he'll die.
There!
I will...
I said, stop!
Don, your stuf...
Say you fell. That you weren't born with that lip.
You fell. Remember that. Take this.
Don't hide anything. Blame the redheads.
Don't argue with anyone. Listen to me!
You think you're the only one.
Get it!? A scholar is not an enemy. The enemy is a scholar in doubt.
Remember
In the name of the Order!
In its name!
You'll kill him, Don.
In the name of the Order.
In its name.
What?
We will let Don in as a guest.
We're killing whores.
She’ll spread her legs, and this thing is on a spring.
Rips them to pieces!
The Order!
With spurs.
Noble Don! Where did you put your hands?
What a joy! What a pleasure for everyone! Wipe off my temple.
- What? - What? - What? - Get lost
A thought entered his head and settled there for good.
Don Reba must be killed!
Just kill him and not think about consequences.
What's going on here?
We're been tortured here, Rumata!
Where's your sword? Did you hand it in, noble Don?
I see.
I had such shrub blossom today! So beautiful! It's a sign!
When I was little, Don Reba was riding on a shovel, in the winter.
Do you see how easy it is to breath in a new freed Arkanar?
And wine got cheaper
Rumata, they put salt on birch-rods. Why? What's the salt for?
So is it easy for you to breath in the new, freed Arkanar?
I lost my tag, if only I didn't
Stick it up your ass. Your ass, not this one!
Try to make sure the hangman sees it.
Until the day I die, Rumata.
Take off your hat.
The Keu barons always had privileges!
There are no privileges for the Order. 7 heavy rod whips!
Why heavy ones? For thoughts without enthusiasm.
Give me Budah.
I'll do it. Here's your doctor.
Good. You remember about the ears, right?
Of course I do
Leave me something! They are stealing everything there.
- Not this - The Dons have amusing asses. Like toads!
Like your face!
Go to hell
- Baron! - So good that I found you...
Baron, I found you! Why are you so...
Doubled up.
A nobleman should be clean and smell good. Right?
What's wrong, Baron?
My nose burst.
I'm so glad I found you.
When you were arrested, I ran here. There were 1000 blacks here. I beat them until...
Then they threw a cow from a bridge on me.
How their crummy skulls will crack under our baronial swords!
Here is Budah, not some Rudah. Good and alive. Eating for the road.
Looks okay and the teeth are intact.
Are you Budah from Irukan?
Baron, this is Budah.
- I put him in jail. - What for?
Baron!
First, because he has a dog's name.
- Second... wait - What's second, Baron?
I did something wrong?
All this, every little piece, with my own two hands.
20 years. My whole life. Now I come to eat here.
Fuck you, all!
Baron, do you have a lockpick?
You will smash me.
Baron, your stuff is right there, on the left.
Enlist as a soldier, son.
Baron or noble Don who let them flog him...
Baron, get your the stuff.
Don't fart, Don!
Let me
My noble friend, are my legs really skinny and white now?
Nice, nice legs.
Why are you sniffing me?
Got lost in thought.
I'm such a Baron, you know. And you're a wise guy.
He'll teach me to read. Then I'll be wise, too.
But you'll never be a Baron.
If you catch a cold, I got some herbs.
Excuse me, woof-woof.
My friend, give him money, a lot of it.
My ribs haven't healed yet.
- They'll close the gates and we're dead. - They'll open it right back.
I beg you. Don't do it, Baron!
Introduce me to that leutenant who cares so much about my health.
Such a turkey.
Don, buy an eye. It reflects light.
- I got a knife as a gift - A knife was a gift?
By the way, I saw that Vaga of yours.
Where are these archers, assholes? Eating turnip? They’ll all be whipped.
Hahaha! It's fun again!
The sword - my friend.
Where are the archers?
Hey, baron... Who is "woof-woof" now?
Who is going to read now? Woof-woof How? Now there is no way.
Baron Pampa del Bao-no of Arkanar, wasn't trialed by the Big Royal Court.
Or killed by the poison of the mountain bee.
Or executed on a square.
He was just pierced with a dozen of arrows and dumped.
Rotten turnips and sour cinnamon was already dumped on top of him.
At night, beggars will rip everything off his huge, strong white body.
Let me free, it's useless without a horse. He is pulling me on purpose.
Where did we stop, Budah? It's impossible to talk like this.
Let me go!
I ask questions, you don't answer them. I asked you: What would you do if you were god?
- I wouldn't have any urine problems. - What a hell? Stop doing all this here
Damn it, they won't let us talk. Pee all you need, and then we'll talk.
I can't.
The most important is not to think about it. Relax.
It's better to hit the ass.
And if you could give advice to a god? lf he asked for it?
That wouldn't be heresy right?
I'd say: Creator!
Why pee on my boots?
You came and we're leaving.
Someone killed two slaves over there. It wasn't us.
We're officers of the Order.
We're off to sleep.
Get it, smart-ass?
Come on.
I'd say... Creator! Give people everything that separates them.
How much longer?
That won't do them any good. Finally. Thank god.
Because the strong will take from the weak.
Give me a bottle. Why do you give an empty bottle?
I'd say, punish the cruel so the strong will know not to be cruel.
When the strong and cruel are punished. The stronger of the weak will take their place.
You know that... You're a fool, Budah. Get out of here. I don't need you.
Why are you screaming at me?
Get out of here...
One splash and...
One splash and your face is gone.
I'd say, creator!
If you exist, blow us away like dust!
Like pus. Or leave us in our rot.
Destroy us all! Everyone.
It is easy to destroy everything.
The lice-ridden, the sick, and even the children.
My heart is full of pity.
I can't do that.
Let's go home.
Rains, rains...
There were many Greys. Very many. Uno was wearing your shirt.
He was shooting from the stairs. Shirt was big for him.
Greys put a noose around his neck. And strangled him.
Then the Blacks came and started killing the Greys.
- One Black gave me this. See, don't touch it. - Why?
Don't touch. They gave me this sign. Told me to come to the Tower of Joy tomorrow.
Why did you take it?
They gave me this. So I'd come tomorrow.
- Give it to me. - Don’t touch it, give it back!
He was sitting there! He shitted all over the cucumbers.
He was in the barrel of pickles!
Shit all over the place!
- Master, I had a horse.
- And now it's dead. - Throw it out.
Everyone, get out. I'll wash my ass.
Let it lie there for a while.
Anguish!
Weren't you hanged?
How could I come if I were?
Really. How did you come, Arata, if you were hanged?
Arata The Hunchback!
- Goran likes crippled. - You're a crippled?
First my guys trusted one virgin.
Old bitch
- Don. The Don of peasants! - Aim higher
- You can't make sausages. - I thought he was higher.
Then we believed in monks. They are now hanged by the balls on the same trees.
I almost forgot you're a god!
That's too bad.
Your water is cold...
Make some hotter water!
Once l was being hanged on an old galley.
But I managed to make... and jumped off
- They had one captain... - Really?
Bootlicker
- Angel! Come here! - Ah?
Don't stare at her
Come on
One is already too much for you.
- I knew for quiet a while that god died! - Come on, really?!
He pulled this cargo, like a horse.
Then he got snotty...
and died!
There's no other way!
It's hard for a god.
I saw you getting snotty today.
- It's bees - Bees
It's just a joke
I have bad news for you.
Today you'll give us the fiery chariot and these shirts.
And in the morning you'll lead us! Or else?
- Or else what?... - What?
You have a soft white belly...
and a bellybutton that when you poke, will go "pssshhh"
My belly button.
Come on.
- I'm afraid it won't be so easy - It's very easy
That was a bird.
That's an omen. For money.
You'll fly to your Daddy.
Everyone will fly one day. Like birds.
Go away from here, go!
Will we have enough water? Somebody, hold my wallet. Arata!
That's it, bro! Cow
Leave the ring.
Give it here. Not this.
I wouldn't kill you.
Really?
You don't know that!
You're so dressed up. How was the trip here?
I won't get you the throne. That's the truth.
You are right! You are right this time!
I'd burn the gold and black vermin. As far as 12 generations back.
That you're good at!
You are good at it...
And you'd give land out to your people. Right?
Yeah.
Who came there?
Wise-guy. I know him, he is a fool.
Throw some more water
A man's skin is made up of tiny holes. They all breath.
If you cover a man with tar... That's it for him!
- That's for you. - That's it?
Good boy Arata. Without it, they won't let you out of the city.
Tell me, Arata. So you give the land to your men.
Who needs land without slaves?
Who needs it without slaves?
There'll be new slaves. New scaffolds. New golds. New Blacks.
Everything will appear again.
Even a new Arata. And god can't do anything.
That's depressing.
I'd never allow that, you louse.
Quiet now. Quiet, quiet, quiet...
You won't be able to do anything.
You'd allow it... Everyone did and always will.
For thousands years.
What do we do?
The same as always.
1... 2... bzzzdin
You're a redheaded bastard.
Muga, introduce him to your tobacconist! They'll make good friends!
Chase him with sticks through the barnyard.
Okay. So what'll happen to me?
You'll remain in songs.
That's it?
That's not really that little, believe me.
Master, the blacks are asking for the girl with the sign.
I knew it. That's it!
Let's cut some ears!
Stop shaking. Let me eat in peace. Shaking and shaking.
Hand hurts.
You'll go with me. You'll confirm there's a boy in my belly. Goran's grandson.
Already? A grandson?
- I won't go without pants. My pants are wet now. - You'll go.
18 generations of noble ancestors. Royal blood and no pants!
I won't go without. Give me dry pants and I'll go to war. I want silver pants.
I don't want to be covered with lard like chicken and burned.
Ok, don't go! Polecat!
- Okay
I'll chase them into the gulf. Right in the ass. I promise.
It's a pity you didn't know Baron Pampa.
Could you at least clean the house!
- Did you find it? - No.
Oh, these ones
The turtle was eating mice in the pants.
I found them. And the turtle, too.
- Laces, laces - What? Laces? What's up with it?
So, silly girl, did you find my swords?
Blood is sticky.
Okay. Okay.
God, if you exist, stop me.
Run... God decided to kill.
Stop! You can't, not Arima!
There he is.
Arima. My name is Arima.
That's no problem.
- I didn't bring everyone. Some strange monk did. - They'll all be punished. These people are like kids.
He was standing there, calling. I saw him. With a wall-eye.
A crippled hunchback monk. He brought all those fools!
Look, or I'll flog you to death!
- I'm the eye of the Order. That's my job! - It's a mistake. It was some strange, monk.
- Is it blood? - Ah, it stinks. What?
The Creator gave us pain. I went to university too.
- From university? - I'm the eye of the Order.
My hands are slippery.
I will kill everyone here.
And you too, student!
Heresy. Heresy!
I didn't take anything!
The hat of sorrow!
Nobody steals under the Order.
Everyone.
God, stop me.
It's like not me.
Not everyone's destined. I can't either.
It's just... why. Here, a gift for you.
It's the court martial Summons to the office.
The Tower of Joy is not so joyful. He's here too.
What did I do? I never left the house.
That's death. And that's life.
Life. And life again.
I never left the house.
Here is your destiny. Kiun from Tin Street. Slander of the Order.
That's serious. Not so good about you, too. But we will...
You can pardon all these ones, Don.
Why don’t you give me, the foolish Don, 200 more street folks?
You'll find someone else. You don't care who to burn.
Isn't that right, student?
You can't!
Stop.
Put the boards down.
- Who wants water? - Pull it up!
- Ribs - We need one more chain
Rock him so the shit drips off.
A student.
An impotent and inept one will give up without knowing
Where the monster's heart is, if the monster even has one.
Don, I think I've gone blind!
An officer. It squelches here.
It always squelched here.
Foo. You are such a person though...
- Let me go or I will stab you - Yeah, yeah.
It's slippery
Hello there
What might be... nothing might be.
I'll show you something. You'll pee your pants!
- I told you.. - Okay, you won't pee
An egg
Flies, flies, flies
This is Arata the Hunchback.
So, wall-eyed man, rotten a little?
Why didn't you spare a young lady?
You bastard. His arrow is marked!
This is the boar YI. You idiot! It's the boar!
This is a cow, I tell you.
Leave him, he's suffered enough.
Arata killed the girl! The mark on the arrow is the same.
He wanted to draw Rumata out against the blacks.
But drew him against himself.
One more egg
I will call them, come on.
A witch
You owe me a coin, Condor!
I saw it!
Condor, something shiny is over there.
- I'm not flying back to Earth with you! - No, nothing shiny.
I'm not flying back to Earth!
That's stupid, Pashka. You'll be sorry if you go behind my back.
Good then.
See what I learned here?
If you say no - then no.
Actually, you know what?
Well, old ass.
This is not my work, it's yours now.
You are fucking theorist.
You're crap! The crap of the Siou bird. You're all set for life in a nuthouse on Earth.
Or maybe in jail. Or maybe you even have a brain tumor.
There are snakes there!
Here, take this.
He's a thief, and you keep throwing gloves.
Pashka, we're dueling. It's come to this!
A god can be tired, too.
You are fucking expert.
Get out of here. I want to sleep. Get out.
They say you... well... write books, but have no thoughts.
Here's one.
Where Greys triumph, Blacks always
Where greys triumph, blacks always, always come in the end.
There's no other way. Remember. And now leave.
Hey, you! If you write about me
and you'll probably have to...
Write that
it's hard to be a god
I'll get some sleep
God, spit on me, so I won't ever be sick. And
spit in my hand, too. I'll take it to my brother.
Don't you dare calling him a god! We'll be punished!
Come on, a kid won't speak in vain.
- He doesn't look at me. Come on, look at me! - Stop screaming
Stop walking here. These university guys were running around, screaming.
The fat one didn't want to fly.
Stronger than beer.
Don Leonardo and Don Fatso. They killed each other. Here
What for?
You bastards!
That Don Leonardo.
They squander on drink the round glass and the boards.
- So what? - Nothing.
Muga, what does your tobacconist say? Where is he?
Left his house... and never came back. It happens.
Will you find him? I told you to take the stocks off.
Why don't you take them off?
Are you fucking nuts?
I also left my house one day, like he did, and never came back.
Out of the way noble Don! Or the wheel will get your boot.
Hey you forgot the chair, fools!
Do you like this music?
I don't know...
It hurts my stomach.
A special thanks for assistance in creating this film to Alexei Kudrin & Mikhail Prokhorov
The film features the poem "Hamlet" by Boris-Pasternak.
Translated into English by Lydia Pasternak & Arthur Marde
Subtitles: YAAM studio Thanks to: Mos3n